As we enter August (which translates to “autumn is almost here” to me), I always feel the urge for a change. I tend to change something in my life when autumn creeps in such as a change in my house, wardrobe, website, etc. So, I’m in the process of giving my website a facelift and changing the layout, but it is finding the time to do so. I couldn’t have picked a worse time to do it since this is going to be a super busy week; back to school days at work, my son’s birthday, and a trip up to Coopersville, Michigan. But, what’s done is done! I already wiped the layout and color scheme, so bear with me as I make the changes.
Lately I have felt an extra amount of “ick”. I make it no secret that I suffer from some nasty depression and anxiety, some times worse than others. In the past few months it has been eating away at me – things didn’t work out the way I so deeply desired at my job, which caused me to be extra bitter constantly. I’m still fighting the cravings from quitting smoking (over six months in now!) and the weight gain from that, which certainly doesn’t help my fragile self-esteem. I have two teenagers, my oldest who has Asperger’s and ADD doesn’t make life easy around the Zaroski household. It’s hard being a patient and understanding parent when I don’t understand how his brain works. I have been angry and short-tempered, as well as guilty for feeling like that. Depression sucks, plain and simple. And putting a big, fat smile on my face all day to hide it is absolutely exhausting.
Prayers weren’t helping. Going out and exercising five days a week weren’t helping. Eating healthy wasn’t helping. And I refuse to be medicated except for alleviating my severe panic attacks. And that’s when a friend of mine mentioned using crystals. What do I have to lose, right? So, after researching which ones I might need, I went and bought some. A jet stone to absorb negative energy from others AND myself that I wear on a necklace and a clear quartz bracelet for clarity, calm, and positivity. I forget I’m wearing them and let me tell you, I have become a whole different person. I’m happy. I’m content. I’m chill. I’m a believer. Whether it’s gospel or gorilla shit, I don’t know. But, all I know is they work for me and that’s all that matters.